They’re everywhere you look, everywhere you go. In every corner of this ugly world, in every crevice that the darkness overtakes. All you have to do is look for them. They may be hard to find at first, but it is a search that will never disappoint.
Did you wake up this morning feeling the burdens of yesterday grow heavier and the unknowns of tomorrow worrying your mind? Did unwelcome memories fog your vision as you looked out at the world and couldn’t help but wonder if today held anything good? Anything beautiful? Anything right? Because, looking back on yesterday, and the day before that, it wouldn’t surprise you if today was any different. Did you look in the mirror and criticize and ridicule the person looking back at you? Wishing they were different, dying to know why they were born this way, so ugly and so wrong? I bet you told yourself that you’re worthless, that no one will ever love you, that you’re weak and that its a joke that you keep trying. I bet you looked at yourself and wished to see someone else. Someone better. Someone with less dirt on their face. Someone with less torturous memories pricking their mind. With less sins stamped on their heart. Less baggage on their shoulders. Less shame in their eyes. Less “if only”s residing in their soul. Less… of you. If there wasn’t so much of you, things would be so much better. Everyone’s lives would be simpler. That heart of yours wouldn’t be so tortured. The sun would shine brighter. The moon would stay longer. You think that, don’t you? You truly believe that with all that is in you, right? I bet you think those things, and so much more. I’m sure I only scraped the surface of the nasty pile of hideous remarks that you throw at yourself every second of every day. Hideous remarks that don’t belong to you…Hideous remarks that should have never crossed that beautiful mind of yours. Because, oh, you do have a beautiful mind. Has anyone ever told you that? You have a mind that could change the world. A mind that could reach a stony heart. A mind that could do just about anything it set itself too. If only it wasn’t so crowded with all those hideous thoughts about yourself that you shove into it. Because, my dear friend, those thoughts will never get you anywhere. And they certainly wont magically turn you into the person you’ve always told yourself you are better off being, whoever that might be. Because, as I have gone through life telling myself thoughts very similar to yours, and convincing myself that I am better off being someone else, I never quite knew who that was. Who was that person that I wished so badly to become? And how could I start turning myself into her when I didn’t even know who she was? So you see, my dear friend, there is no point to this exhausting routine you have lived everyday of your life.
Hating the person that God so intricately placed inside of you wont change anything. It will only break His heart. When you look at yourself and hate what you see, you are looking at one of God’s masterpieces with disgust. When you tell yourself that your only wish is to be someone else, to be smaller, prettier, more unique..You are telling that to the face of God. When He created you, He never had the intention of watching you tear down what He had worked so hard on. He never wanted this for you. Not His precious child. Not the one that He has so many plans for. Not the one that makes His heart ache with love at the mere thought of. Not the one that He died for.
So, my dear friend, today as you go about life as best as possible, try not to be so hard on yourself. Don’t let today be another yesterday. Your heart can only take so much. I know I cant stop you from thinking your constant stream of bad thoughts all at once, but I do pray with all my heart that they lessen. Instead of focusing on the gloom in the sky, realize that you have air to breathe. Instead of getting mad at yourself for saying the wrong thing, be thankful that you are able to talk at all. Instead of looking at someone and wishing you had their life, be thankful that you are living. Instead of begging God to give you something, thank Him that He gave you another day to live. And instead of hating yourself and wishing to be someone else.. Realize that you were fearfully and wonderfully made, by a God who died to know you. And for that reason alone, you are beautiful. Don’t you dare let anyone tell you differently. Especially not yourself. Because as I have gone through life, I have learned that we can sometimes turn into our worst enemy.
My dear friend, you are beautiful.
You are the only you in this whole world.
And this world needs you.
Just Like You.