Lately… It feels as if my whole life has been at a screeching halt, all the while I am running full force, breathless, trying to find my life, my purpose, my meaning, my future… Yet, everything is standing in my way. Running against something that will never budge has the ability to break a persons heart after a while. Now, I have never been one to give up. I have fierce determination. I run at everything with my whole self. But lately… I feel the fight inside of me dying a little. And that scares me. I was in the car today, going someplace, sitting at another generic red light, head down, feeling defeated; I then looked up at the red light which brought our car to a halt, and I laughed to myself. Everything seems to be telling me to stop these days. Even the red light. Stop living, Clare. Stop dreaming, stop fighting, stop running, stop chasing, stop..being you. What scares me, is that after a while, they just might get their wish. I am just so tired. But I have to remember who I am, what I have survived because of my determination for life, how far I have come, how much Jesus saved me from. I have to keep going, no matter what. Life is pretty hopeless at times. But I am a person who has Christ, and because of that, my life is never completely void of hope. He will be my strength. He will bring me through. He always does. He is my hope. When everything else fails, this does not.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”-Jeremiah 29:11.
I will cling to these words.